Darkness!

Hey kids, just listening to the new "The Darkness" album on myspace. It comes out tomorrow, and I'm totally buying it. It ROCKS! Sounds a lot more like Queen than the first album. Some of the songs could totally come out of a rock opera. Massive amounts of overdubbed harmonies. SWEET! It's really cool that they put the whole album streaming on myspace before you can buy it. Wish all bands did that. Also, their song "Hazel Eyes" was very familiar. They actually played it last year when I saw them at Summerfest! I thought it was a b-side, so I searched online and bought all their b-sides, but it wasn't one of them. I just remember fuckin lovin that song. How many bands play new songs that aren't released ANYWHERE? Well, okay, LOCAL bands do, but big, signed bands hardly ever do that. Weezer used to, but I'm sure the "man" tells them not to anymore. Basically, there's no point to that for the guys making the money at the label, because who wants to hear a song they can't buy? What a bunch of bullshit. I remember after The Stint show we did, I gave a CD to this "promoter" in Madison that is a friend of mine. He was like "When are you playing next?" I told him we weren't playing at all. It was a one-time project. Well, the fucker actually GAVE me the CD back (it was FREE, by the way!) because he said it wasn't "marketable". WTF? Music is about music, and even though you have to make money to go anywhere, I think most people still appreciate when bands do cool shit like playing b-sides, hanging out with fans afterword (thanks, AWK!) and stuff like that. Sure, they're not making money doing that specific act, but in the long run they get a lot more respect. And that fuckin ROCKS, like the new Darkness album, which I'm sure you will all buy. WOOHOO!

Bad bad movie...

So, I just watched JASON X on the Sci-Fi channel. I guess it was exactly what I expected. Very bad. If I could somehow reach my brain, I would wash it with warm water and soap. Rinse. Repeat. But at least it was Halloween-y. Slightly. VERY slightly. Anyway, don't forget about the party this weekend, y'all!

I was reading Popular Science today and came across an article about the "hobbit" people remains they found in Indonesia. Seems there was another species of human consisting of 3 foot tall people with very small brains. Here is an artist's rendition of what they may have looked like. They evolved according to some "island dwarfing" theory. If a group of people, creatures, whatever, are isolated with very few predators and scarce resources, they will shrink over generations. If you don't have predators, you don't have to worry about being big to protect yourself, and if you have less resources, you'll want to be smaller so you'll consume less. I guess that makes sense. I thought about this further and came up with a kick-ass crackpot theory that I'd like to share...

If the population of Earth continues growing exponentially like it has been, there will be no more room for us and we'll all be cramped together with few resources. This of course will make us evolve into midgets. Then ALL porn will be midget porn. Sweet. On the other hand, if we begin to colonize other worlds or have a big ol' nuclear war, either way it will lower the population on Earth. Then those of who are left will continue to buy our humungoid SUV's and huge houses with rooms we'll never use. We will also continue to eat fast food a lot. This will make us grow larger over time. Eventually, we will be about 20 to 30 feet tall. We will also probably grow scales or something, and larger teeth to better eat the other people left (which will be the only food around besides a few animal species and some plants). We will evolve BACK into our original primal state. Basically, "huma-sauruses." Pretty sweet idea, huh? Then, we will die out when the next ice age comes and turn into oil for the NEXT wave of people to use in THEIR SUVs! It's an endless crazy circle. Of life. Like that Elton John song... "Can You Feel The Love Tonight" I think it's called.

These and other ideas can be read about more thoroughly (thorough is a fun word to type, ever notice that?) in my new book, "Shit I Think About When I Should Be Sleeping." Pick it up in bookstores near you.