Bad bad movie...

So, I just watched JASON X on the Sci-Fi channel. I guess it was exactly what I expected. Very bad. If I could somehow reach my brain, I would wash it with warm water and soap. Rinse. Repeat. But at least it was Halloween-y. Slightly. VERY slightly. Anyway, don't forget about the party this weekend, y'all!

I was reading Popular Science today and came across an article about the "hobbit" people remains they found in Indonesia. Seems there was another species of human consisting of 3 foot tall people with very small brains. Here is an artist's rendition of what they may have looked like. They evolved according to some "island dwarfing" theory. If a group of people, creatures, whatever, are isolated with very few predators and scarce resources, they will shrink over generations. If you don't have predators, you don't have to worry about being big to protect yourself, and if you have less resources, you'll want to be smaller so you'll consume less. I guess that makes sense. I thought about this further and came up with a kick-ass crackpot theory that I'd like to share...

If the population of Earth continues growing exponentially like it has been, there will be no more room for us and we'll all be cramped together with few resources. This of course will make us evolve into midgets. Then ALL porn will be midget porn. Sweet. On the other hand, if we begin to colonize other worlds or have a big ol' nuclear war, either way it will lower the population on Earth. Then those of who are left will continue to buy our humungoid SUV's and huge houses with rooms we'll never use. We will also continue to eat fast food a lot. This will make us grow larger over time. Eventually, we will be about 20 to 30 feet tall. We will also probably grow scales or something, and larger teeth to better eat the other people left (which will be the only food around besides a few animal species and some plants). We will evolve BACK into our original primal state. Basically, "huma-sauruses." Pretty sweet idea, huh? Then, we will die out when the next ice age comes and turn into oil for the NEXT wave of people to use in THEIR SUVs! It's an endless crazy circle. Of life. Like that Elton John song... "Can You Feel The Love Tonight" I think it's called.

These and other ideas can be read about more thoroughly (thorough is a fun word to type, ever notice that?) in my new book, "Shit I Think About When I Should Be Sleeping." Pick it up in bookstores near you.